Dwindling Days

Tonight is my last night in Pennsylvania until June. That is weird.

I'm done packing. I hope that I have everything I need without packing too much. But I have that sneaking suspicion I packed way too much. I realize that while things are very different in Cairo, I'm not going to a remote village in the Serengeti so I will be able to purchase things there. But I've never had to pack for 4 months before. Struggle.

What also throws a kink into my planning is that I will be spending 5 mostly chaos filled days in DC prior to flying to Cairo. I have people I want to say bye to and all the inauguration things going on so I can't even really think about Cairo yet. Lots of stress. Plus riding amtrak from Philly to DC tomorrow is going to suck.

Having spent a month at home doing mostly nothing, I feel like I'm in a funk. I sleep a lot but during the day I still feel tired and kind of out of it. For the past few weeks I mostly spend my days watching TV and playing solitaire. I'm looking forward to having things to do. Classes even. whoa.

Television

I watch a lot of TV. As in I don't like counting how many shows I regularly watch because it makes me feel sad for my life. If it weren't for the internet I wouldn't be able to sustain my TV habits, but the internet makes it so easy to keep up with everything.

I mention all this because being home for winter break has only exacerbated this. I have started watching 3 new shows since I've been home and will probably start a 4th tonight. I've still been reading a lot but TV is more brainless (duh). I've also taken up spider solitaire, even attempting two suit spider solitaire, though that has been destroying my self-esteem because of its difficulty.

As Stuff White People Like brings up, it is very hip to not watch TV and even cooler to not own one. I am already going stir crazy. Without TV I would go insane. I will hand in my cool white person card if it means I get to watch my shows. hah.

I've forced myself to wake up at 9:00 instead of 11:00, but I still spend most of the day sitting around watching TV or reading. Consequently, I forget what it is like to be in school/do productive things with my life. On the 25th I start orientation abroad and then classes start on the 1st. I guess it's good that break is so long because it actually makes me look forward to going back.

In other news,that boy I've been writing about texted me today for the first time in like a week which is the longest we've gone without talking for all of break. And he said some pretty nice/cute things. Which is weird. Because I leave the country in 9 days. ahh boys are so weird.

Problems with GW

I haven't posted in a while, as few notable things have occurred. I've read approximately 10 books since I've been home. I've watched a lot of TV. There were some shenanigans on New Years but nothing too exciting. Oh, and last week I went clubbing in Philly for the first time (not that it's that different than clubbing in DC).

Anyway, as much as I like GW (and obviously I do if I've stuck around for 2.5 years) there are some issues. These are my principle complaints:

1) Sometimes GW acts more like a corporation than a college. And thus it buys all sorts of random real estate around the city. The first problem with this is that GW could probably find something better to do with that money. The other problem is that then I have to trek over to these random places for class. Going from 1957 E St to 2020 K is no fun when you have 20 minutes.

2) Tuition. Now I'm not going to complain about GW being expensive (though no longer the most expensive school in the country!). While GW is super expensive, it also gives the most financial aid of any school in the country. So what I don't understand is why GW doesn't lower both tuition and financial aid. I feel like there should be some math genius who can figure out how to do this without changing how much we ultimately pay. Because the sticker price scares off a lot of people. I pay about a quarter what GW costs, which I explain on my tours but I think people would feel better if GW didn't cost more than some Jaguars.

3) There is a giant lack of communication about things. Last spring I was content having the room to myself because my roommate went abroad, until a girl showed up at my door saying she was my new roommate. It ended up working out well, but GW could have fired off an email letting me know (especially when they told her they would inform me). Also, I'm going abroad which is kind of stressful right now because there are a lot of little details to figure out. I emailed my study abroad adviser right when I got home for break asking a kind of important question. I have yet to hear back. I get that it's the holiday now, but I wrote him around the 18th. And this is an important time for a study abroad adviser to be answering questions. I leave in 2.5 weeks.

Those are my top three complaints with the bureaucracy right now. I'm sure I have more but this is getting kind of long. Perhaps I'll soon write about my favorite things so I don't sound so miserly.

this is going to sound insensitive, but...

being home for winter break feels like being unemployed. Or at least my daily schedule resembles that of the unemployed people whose blogs I read. I sleep a lot. I've been home for less than a week and have read 3 books. I recently discovered that there are exercise videos on 'on demand' so I'm trying to work out now (especially since every day my mom comes home with more cookies from work). I have to think really hard to figure out what day of the week it is, which is a weird feeling. I didn't leave the house today.

But I do appreciate the fact that I am not unemployed and that there is an end in sight for life as a couch potato and I feel badly about complaining. In 30 days I fly far away, and a few days before that I'll return to DC to say goodbye and celebrate the inauguration. I've been home for 6 days and I'm pretty bored already, but things should pick up with Christmas and then after the holiday I should be able to spend more time with my friends.

In other news, this semester there was a kid I sort of liked who was in one of my classes but I concluded that he didn't like me and wasn't that upset about it. We talked a lot in class and exchanged numbers and we texted about school stuff during the semester. But since break he's texted me a couple of times just being like "what's up?" and we talk about random things. He knows I am leaving the continent in a month so I'm a little confused why he's so chatty now. Boys are weird.

Also, my mom works at a school, and today she caught two 8 year old girls talking about having sex. That's horrifying.

i have been in the library for 5 hours...

... and i have only written about 3.5 pages. that is pretty bad for me. i only have to write 6 but it has been torture.

things distracting me:

- half of my right foot is numb and has been for a few days. i have spent a good deal of time on webmd coming up with a diagnosis. after discarding some scarier options, i think i have lyme disease (though i lost all respect for webmd after this summer when i put in my symptoms and "bubonic plague" was one of the options is gave me). i have to go to the doctor this week anyway to get some shots for my impending foray into the third world.

- constantly checking my email. i rarely get important email, but that doesn't mean i don't need to look every 10 minutes or so just in case. and then my gmail checker just mocks me with "No New Mail!" what are you so happy about gmail checker?

- watching bad tv on my computer. it is less boring than just writing my paper, but is probably the reason i have accomplished so little.

- reconnecting to gwireless. i love my computer. mostly. i don't love it when it makes me re-sign onto wireless every 15 minutes.

- as it has passed midnight it is now my roommates 21 st birthday. i am still underage, but once i am done my finals tomorrow it should be a good time.

- it is also my brother's fiancee's birthday. i'm trying to find a good e-card. one that is not sponsored by a vacuum company. thanks hallmark.com

also i have eaten all of the snacks i brought with me but i finally found a good spot with an outlet so i don't want to move.

i know, i have a hard life....

Trials and tribulations

If you read my last post you know that I've been single this semester. And it has certainly been an interesting experience. This was my 1st semester where I really paid attention to the kind of boys here at GW. Freshman year I was busy drinking and making bad choices. I spent all of sophomore year with the bball star (as I've decided to call him). So now I get the fun of trying to find a good guy here amongst the frat boys and future presidents.

A few weeks after the bball star and I broke up I made out with a guy at a frat party (I know, I keep making cracks about frat boys but their parties are a good way to meet an endangered species at GW- the straight male). Anyway he wasn't in the frat. We made out for a while but then I had to rescue a friend from a serious creeper which I think sent the wrong signal to this guy and he peaced. I saw him on the street recently. He wasn't as good looking as drunk me thought he was. Shocking.

My next prospect was a guy I met an engineering party (I have engineering friends. The parties are actually super fun). We flirted over several weekends. There was some touching. I gave him my #. Nothing ensued. I started to get kind of down about it until my friend assured me that engineering boys have no game. I'll make myself feel better by thinking that.

The next in a line of catastrophes was my roommate's ex-boyfriend. He visited for a weekend and spent a fair amount of time touching my leg and trying to hold my hand. Even if I hadn't known about the plethora of terrible things he did to my roommate, I still wouldn't have hooked up with him. He was my roommate's ex-boyfriend! epic failure. He later inquired to my roommate about why he was unable to get with anyone while he was here.

And those have been the highlights of my semester when it comes to guys this semester. woo.

I think I'll save my diatribe about boys at GW for another day because I have a lot to say on that topic.

But I'm going abroad next semester, so I'll get a little reprieve from the lovely boys here.

sad day

I intend for this blog to not be a big debbie-downer, but right now that's hard.

Last year, I had my first real relationship. We were together for over a year and there were hard times but it was pretty amazing. But he was younger and went off to school far away and became busy with stuff and we broke up right when school starting, despite having discussed that we were staying together just a week before. It was horrible. I've had bad things in my life, but this was a completely different kind of pain. It consumed me. I couldn't sleep. This is such a cliché thing to say, but I felt like being sad would never go away.

But it gradually did. Eventually I wasn't sad all the time, and then I wasn't sad most of the time. I was busy with school and working and friends. But on Saturday everything came flooding back. I looked at his facebook and saw that he was in a relationship. I know that before Saturday we weren't together and after Saturday we weren't together but as soon I saw that I immediately started crying. The thought of it still makes me nauseas. Honestly. I feel sick to my stomach when I think that he has a girlfriend. I don't want to be with him, I know all the reasons we broke up, but I feel sick and sad and it kills me. But it gets better and I keep telling myself that like the initial break up each day it will get a little better. It just sucks because it's finals time so I am either studying, writing papers, or taking tests. Which leaves a lot of down time to wallow.

After we broke up, he decided that being mean to me would be the best way for me to move on. He told me that he had stopped loving me and that he wasn't sure he ever had, that he wasn't sure what love is. That still haunts me. I tell myself that he said that he was being mean or was trying to move on himself or something. Because we were together for over a year and I could feel that he loved me. I read the letters he wrote me saying how much I meant to him. But it still kills me that he said that.

Just when I was doing so well with the breakup this new thing came along. This was my first real relationship, I've never been through something like this. When do I stop feeling so badly? When do I stop caring that he has a new girlfriend?


p.s. I'll try to be funny next time. :(

My expert analysis on GW kids

GW likes to portray the student body as good little kids who split their time between interning at the White House and helping the elderly. I should know, I give tours so I’m complicit in upholding this image. But that is far from true. After spending 5 semesters here I feel like this is a more accurate picture of GW kids:

To start with we’ll go for the easy one-

JAPs: I was unaware of how Jewish GW was before I came here. I had some idea that there was a large Jewish contingent but I didn’t really know what that would mean. I grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia, but far enough away that we didn’t have Jews. Or diversity. We had about eight black kids and twelve Asians in my high school (and I went to a public school). It wasn’t until senior year that I learned saying “Happy Yom Kippur” was not okay. So I didn’t know what a JAP was when I left for school. But I learned quickly. And I am not saying that all the Jewish girls at GW are awful. Obviously that’s ridiculous. It’s not anywhere near a majority. But it’s enough that it’s noticeable. Anyway, these are the girls that think leggings are pants and their Blackberry is an extension of their hand. Frequent conversations include hitting up clubs on the weekends and daddy on the weekdays when money is running low. The amount of money they drop on things is ridiculous. They also smoke copious cigarettes. Often in front of my building. Gross. I really don’t need to expound upon this anymore. I think we all know what these girls are like.

Type-A Future Presidents: These kids closely resemble what GW wants its students to be, except they go above and beyond all that. They have internships freshman year and plan out their lives right up until they hit 25 and are eligible to run for Congress. They are on the e-boards of five different student orgs and have business cards. They too have Blackberries glued to their hands and are constantly checking their e-mail. They are very important people.

“I wish I were at Georgetown”: GW is not Georgetown and while most kids here are cool with that, there are a few who are not. And they are bitter. These are the kids who started selling “Fuck Georgetown” t-shirts around campus. However, some of them transfer and others would sell a kidney for a chance to. I met kids at orientation who in our first conversation told me they had wanted to go to Georgetown but didn’t get in. Awkward.

Frat Boys: The Jappy girls would not be complete without some tool-bag guys hanging around. Obviously frat boys are far from exclusive to GW, but GW has its own special brand of douche. 90% of their clothing is emblazoned with their letters.* They sit through class watching Entourage on their fancy MacBooks and texting on their iPhones. Much to cool to put their phone on silent, we all get to hear that lovely vibrating noise when they get texts. Monday mornings are spent regaling the weekend before. You found a girl drunk enough to hook up with you. congratulations.

Hipsters: It's funny seeing these kids juxtaposed with the JAPs and the frat boys. Because they are different. They wear cheap clothes because it's ironic and talk about the cool obscure bands you don't know about because you're just not quite that hip. They hide that they're from south Jersey and grew up with the girls who turned into GW's JAPs. They smoke lots too. But sometimes they smoke weed. gasp

There are lots of other types of people at GW, even shockingly enough, some down to earth normal ones. But I think this covers it as far as those stereotypes that epitomize GW go. Most kids are pretty cool. But some are completely ridiculous. Which is why I will have plenty of fodder for this blog.

* I have to admit, I liked the frat shirts that had something to effect of “We put a man on the moon. We put a man in the oval office. We put a man in Jessica Simpson.” Tacky but clever. I like it.

A little about me...

Freshman year my writing teacher was really into blogs which got me interested in them, especially ones written by people in DC. I've followed several blogs over the past 2.5 years and I feel like I know the people that I've read about for so long. Then I remember that these people don't know I exist and I feel like a creeper. But reading these blogs has made me want to write as well. Plus, going to GW there are so many ridiculous things that need to be talked about.

With that I will get back to writing a paper, but more will come in the future.


And I did in fact lose my virginity in the dorm JBKO....